Beyond My Control
“Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.”
Do you know that feeling when life suddenly hits you with an unexpected challenge, or when your emotions just take over completely? It leaves you feeling totally lost. "C'était plus fort que moi" – it was stronger than me. It's that raw, vulnerable feeling. We try to maintain an image of perfect control, but we all get overwhelmed. And it's when we're most vulnerable that we need to be our own best ally.
We'd comfort a struggling friend, not criticise them. That's self-compassion: treating yourself with the same kindness when overwhelmed. It's acknowledging we're all human, and when 'c'était plus fort que moi' hits, pause, breathe, and be gentle.
So, how do we do self-compassion?
1. Tune In, Don't Tune Out:
Instead of suppressing your feelings, acknowledge them. Say it out loud, or write it down: "Okay, I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now." It's like giving yourself permission to feel what you're feeling, and that in itself is a huge step.
2. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend:
Imagine your best friend was in your shoes. What would you say to them? "It's okay, you've got this, you're not alone." Say those things to yourself! Valuing and treating yourself with kindness and respect you would your own best friend is so important. Giving yourself a hard time and being self-critical about every imperfection and every mistake you make is not helpful. You were not born to be perfect, you were born to be real and real people mess up from time to time and that is perfectly OK. Liking, respecting and looking after yourself is very important in terms of your emotional well-being.
3. Embrace the Cwtch (or Whatever Brings You Comfort):
Sometimes, a little physical comfort goes a long way. I'm a big fan of a good cwtch (that's a warm hug in Welsh!) it really does help calm the nervous system.
4. Remember You're Not Alone:
Feeling overwhelmed is something every single person goes through. That "it was stronger than me" feeling? We've all been there.
But what about when the overwhelm is really intense? When you feel like you're completely lost in the chaos? That's when grounding techniques can be a lifesaver. This simple exercise helps you get back into the present moment, back into your body, and out of the swirling thoughts in your head. It's like pressing a reset button.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique:
This exercise is all about "getting out of our minds and into our life," as Steve Hayes put it.
5 - Sight: Look around the room and name five things you can see. It could be anything – your desk, a plant, a candle. Just notice.
4 - Touch: Name four things you can feel. The texture of your clothes, the warmth of your mug, the coolness of the floor beneath your feet.
3 - Sound: Listen carefully and name three things you can hear. The radio, the birds singing outside, the wind.
2 - Smell: Name two things you can smell. Your tea, your perfume, the fresh flowers on your table.
1 - Taste: Notice the taste in your mouth. Is it the taste of your lunch, or just the neutral taste of your saliva?
Once you've run through the senses, take a few deep breaths and just be present. You've brought yourself back to the here and now, and you're ready to face whatever comes next.
Remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed. It's okay to say, "C'était plus fort que moi." It's okay to feel lost, but you can find your way back. Practice self-compassion, try the grounding technique, and remember, you've got this. You're stronger than you think.
The High-Stress Reality of Event Planning
Event planning is consistently ranked as one of the most stressful professions. In fact, studies show that event planners experience stress levels comparable to those in high-pressure medical fields. The profession was this year ranked as the third most stressful job in the world.
Changes like the rise of virtual and hybrid events, rescheduled events, and budget cuts have added to the pressure.
If you're finding yourself overwhelmed by the demands of event planning, or if you're experiencing those "c'était plus fort que moi" moments more frequently than you'd like, please know that you're not alone.
Open up and get some support
There is so much support out there and no one needs to feel afraid or ashamed. Whether you're looking for strategies to manage stress, tips for staying grounded during chaotic events, or simply someone to talk to, don't hesitate to reach out. Contact me today for a chat. Let's work together to find ways to bring more calm and balance into your event planning life.
It's important to remember that you're not alone, and help is always available.
If you're experiencing feelings of distress or despair, please know that there are people who want to support you. The Samaritans offer a confidential listening service, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can contact them by phone at 116 123 (UK and ROI) or visit their website for more information.
Seeking help is a sign of strength, and taking care of your mental well-being is crucial. Please reach out, whether to me or to the Samaritans, if you need support.
